At some point in a relationship there will be some friction between partners. Couples who say they never fight just haven’t had their first fight yet… In other words, it’s an inevitability since you are two individuals with your own needs and desires.
The researchers have found that these feeling are strongest when the argument has been properly resolved.
Of course, we all react to conflict in different ways and the context of the argument is also important, but if you do ever find yourself bickering, here are a couple of things to consider to go from fuming to steaming:
1. Make less space – try to get in each other’s personal space while arguing, then tension from the argument and the tension from having someone in your personal space when you don’t necessarily want them there, might just lead the argument to bed.
2. Hold tight – when things get physical or are starting to get out of control, holding your partner is a good move, as it will get you in even closer. However, gauge the situation first, if there isn’t at least some reciprocation, back off.
3. Don’t wait – If your partner does reciprocate your advances, get on with it right there and then. Make-up sex is usually quick and passionate and not the long, romantic kind.
4. Say sorry – It’s easier to apologise while in the throes of passion and it might make your partner ease up a little more and return the apology, despite who is right or wrong, because the atmosphere is calmer and might even be a turn-on.
5. Walk the talk – After you’ve said your sorrys, don’t stop talking. During sex your defences are down and you can talk about your differences more freely (while continuing to have sex). Just be careful not to reopen the wound.
6. Get angrier – If your anger still lingers, let it all out by channelling it into your lovemaking, releasing the tension and anger by getting more passionate as you get into it. The release will make you feel better.